Hmmm...

Just had an amazing discussion about life, which really pulled out deep reserves of thought and feelings which I could never express as anything more than an interesting thought. It was a really really long discussion on Colosso, and where we would want to go from now til the end, and how differences in motives, ideals and mindsets can lead to the dissolution of partnerships and friendships. It was an excellent discussion, one which provoked deep thought and clarity in me, and amazingly, I see now what could be, and what I want.

I realized now why I wanted this so much. It's the brainchild of the 3 of us. Something that we've worked hard to develop, and something that's exclusively the 3 of us. Colosso is more than just a simple get-rich scheme cooked up by 3 jabronis keen on making a quick buck. It's a beautiful concept, what we have in mind, and hopefully, post-graduation and in the not-so-distant future, Colosso can make its mark on the world, from designer-dog bistros to up-market joints.

The 3 of us, we've practically grown up together, and have remained the best of friends for so long. Think I can almost safely say that apart from my brothers, these 2 are the ones whom I really really bond with, who know both my strengths and weaknesses, and shared both good and tough times. I count myself fortunate to even know them, let along be proud enough to call them my best friends. Tough to be able to fully trust people these days, but these 2 are friends for life. 

=)

A New World, A New Beginning

Hey All!

For those precious few who read or even know about the existence of this blog, a very, very belated Happy New Year! Hope these 24 days have been good for all of you! So many changes, so many things to note. I haven't blogged for quite some time already, and now's a good time as any to start again, I suppose...

For all who've stuck on with me for the past year, and before that, thank you for being there, part of my life and beyond. Thanks for caring, and for sharing. With NS gone now, new horizons appear, and new threats loom. With the constant pressure of the absence of income hovering over me, and the many unspoken things that have yet to be completed, new challenges sprout from nothing, as I leave old ones behind. Things change this year, for everyone'll be separated. I guess deep down inside, throughout our NS lives, the thought that just the next year will see us taking different paths down in life, perhaps never to meet again on this never-ending road. I believe that in every stage of our lives, we find and lose friends, love and hope, but I've currently several groups of friends who never fail to put a smile on my face, never fail to be a source of hope and comfort for me. Hope you guys stay forever and ever! Girls too... =D

I think life is gonna change for many of us, and I'm exposed to so many different aspects of life, it just frightens me that the world really, really isn't as perfect as I had made it out to be. Sure, NS taught me a lot of life and the world beyond nerdy JC existence, but through my leadership training at LDC, I've met so many new people, re-connected with an old friend (and crony), and been exposed to a whole new myriad of different attitudes and cultures that I never thought possible. For those who've been in constant contact with me, you'd know what I'm talking about. I miss Farand, and the 3 amigos hanging out, gorging on food. I know that I'll have to spend less time with Cyn, 'cos she really has her studies to think about. I'd really like to take LDC as my primary job, and throw myself into the work full-time, but there just isn't enough there for me to find security. NTU approaches ever so silently, and it's a constant test to myself to make the best of my time BEFORE NTU, rather than try to mess up my probably-already-packed schedule there. At least I'll be rooming with my best friend, if all goes according to plan! =)

Ah well. Despite the frightening changes the life brings, it's what makes it so beautiful as well. I love Cyn more than ever, for just being the most beautiful and sweet presence in my life, made even more precious by the fact that I see her less now. I really treasure my closest friends, the other 2 amigos, whom in my opinion can never be replaced, ever. I appreciate my TJ class guys so so much, for sharing and being more than just friends. And my VS brothers, the less reason we have to see each other, the more we do, just to laugh, and sing and play. Best of luck for this year, everyone!

"The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now, and we will never be here again."

- Achilles in Troy

Sheesh.

I'm stuck in a shithole.

Somebody help.

The Passing of an Era

My grand-uncle passed away this morning. He was 88 going on to 89 years old. He was the oldest living Victorian, which means a lot to me, from the institution that I love. He was really quite something, always coming to any party or function dressed not in pyjamas as some of the elderly do, but in a suit, always a grey suit, standing as erect as he could on his close-to-a-century-old shoulders. His passing signalled the end of an era, one which we all hoped to grow up under the protection of. My sincere condolences go out to his immediate loved ones.

I went to visit him twice in Changi General Hostipal, where he reluctantly went to, after adamantly refusing to go to Singapore General Hospital, seeing that a fair number of his loved ones passed on there, including his wife. The last words I ever heard him speak was, through his incessant, involuntary shaking and his pain, "Thank you for coming to visit." Even in midst of his own plight, he remained what a Victorian was brought up to be, a gentleman. He was a tough nut to crack, staying on at all our parties til one in the morning, drinking the brandy he was so fond of. At 88, he wrote in his diary everyday, about his comings and goings and notes about people he met. He walked to the market everyday, to buy tomatoes which he so strongly attributed his good health to, apart from brandy. He was a force unstoppable, or so he seemed to me.

In short, he's everything I want to be at his age: Proud, Strong, and Gentlemanly. I'm going to miss you, Lao Ku. Rest in Peace.

Unsurprisingly, this got me thinking 'bout a lotta stuff that's happened over the past few years. It's amazing how a person is reminded of his own mortality after a life close to his fizzes out. Relative or friend, it stings and shocks, and tells you that one day, you'd be facing this scenario too. A few years back, a string on suicides involving JC students took place, and I knew one of them. Well, not really knew, but just knew his existence in the world. Be that as it may, it was shocking to see someone that young, MY age, throw himself out of a window, problems regardless. The other case was even worse, when a highly promising VJC committed suicide over personal issues. What drives people to take such drastic measures, when the termination of life represents the ending of all they know? If the ending of a life can cause such pain and sorrow, what more the tragedy surrounding it?

With all that is great and blessed by God himself, I hope the world becomes a better place.