Beautiful Tragedy

Well. I just lost a friend. My best friend in the Police Force. Gone in a single night, without even the chance to say good-bye, before departing this world. Such a person he was. Confident yet shy, funny yet broodingly serious, cheap and giving. He was a person whom you just wanted to know, so that you can tell people, yeah, I have a friend! An Arab friend who looks like a Russian, who's cool and gets chicks! And guess what, he's my very good friend!

My friend Faruk just passed away. He got killed in an accident, while riding his bike home in the wee hours of Thursday morning. He was sending a girl back, and got killed on the way home. Funny thing is, he was actually thinking of selling his bike, before uni. Cruel ironies of life eh?

I don't exactly know how to feel or what to feel now, it's kinda numb, seeing that he's no longer here, but yet, the memories I have are all of him grinning his arse off, or pulling off some joke that gets the whole office on their knees. The cool dance moves, the nonchalant attitude. The accidental humour during ops duty, my partner-in-crime for most occurences at work, and my true partner-in-hand during ops. On one hand, it's really painful that he's gone. On the other hand, something beautifully tragic occured yesterday, when i found out.

It rained. It was a gentle rain, soothing yet unrelenting. According to Islamic beliefs, if a person passes away on a Friday and it's raining, it means that God loves him very much. When I informed my friends in Aussie that he was gone, apparently, it was raining there too. And as we were leaving, there was a rainbow in the sky. Poetic, poignant moment.

To Faruk: It really sucks that you're gone man. We just played soccer a few weeks ago, and you're unaware of this, but we were gonna arrange another one. We were brothers, and we shared so much. I really really miss you so much, your laughter, your curly hair, the look on your face as we did stupid dances and laughed at stupid things with Hilman... I miss the outings we had, chilling at cafes with Muhd, Khai, Cyn and Jue Luo... I miss all the stupid times in the office, the times in the gym and the canteen. I miss you, very much. God Bless You, wherever you are. Hope He treated you well, as you deserve nothing but the best.

Take care, Ayuk.
Salaam Aleikum.

Game on, man, game on!!!

Leadership?

Well, I'm into leadership training now, and it's kinda a love-hate relationship, love being more than hate, of course, that's why I'm doing it. =)

It's an absolutely exhausting job, and it takes almost all your willpower to motivate and inspire classes, with students that badly need it, and having to do it over and over again to brand new ones. As if this wasn't enough, it's the prospect of preparing the course that you give, how you present the lessons to them, and why they react the way the do. All this in addition to preparing the material, which involves stapling and printing hundreds of booklets per school, not to mention creating the material and the powerpoint slides and all as well. (Ask Sherman, he should know, with his aching shoulder... =D) We're about to embark into all this, and considering the magnitude of the entire thing, it quite literally scares the crap outta me. Maybe I'm not as confident as Sherman is in handling all this, and maybe I'm just a lazy bum, but I fear that I might not be able to live up to the massive confidence that the people in LDC is giving us.

On the other hand...

I've realised, once again, that there's nothing more rewarding than to have people appreciate the work you put in, the person you are, and the things you are willing to do, or sacrifice. Interestingly, I get this most of all after the worst of the programmes, with the students I least expect to come out of this enlightened, where I'm the most stressed and frustrated. It's in that moment that you realise, it's all worth it. Really. If you but keep that in mind, the stress is nothing.

I'm beginning to love this job, and I really wanna go all the way with this, both for the kids, and for myself. Yet, I feel dampened, for some reason. Why...? =(

On a separate note, a belated Gong Xi Fa Cai to everyone! May you be prosperous and have the best of luck this new year! =D

A New World, A New Beginning

Hey All!

For those precious few who read or even know about the existence of this blog, a very, very belated Happy New Year! Hope these 24 days have been good for all of you! So many changes, so many things to note. I haven't blogged for quite some time already, and now's a good time as any to start again, I suppose...

For all who've stuck on with me for the past year, and before that, thank you for being there, part of my life and beyond. Thanks for caring, and for sharing. With NS gone now, new horizons appear, and new threats loom. With the constant pressure of the absence of income hovering over me, and the many unspoken things that have yet to be completed, new challenges sprout from nothing, as I leave old ones behind. Things change this year, for everyone'll be separated. I guess deep down inside, throughout our NS lives, the thought that just the next year will see us taking different paths down in life, perhaps never to meet again on this never-ending road. I believe that in every stage of our lives, we find and lose friends, love and hope, but I've currently several groups of friends who never fail to put a smile on my face, never fail to be a source of hope and comfort for me. Hope you guys stay forever and ever! Girls too... =D

I think life is gonna change for many of us, and I'm exposed to so many different aspects of life, it just frightens me that the world really, really isn't as perfect as I had made it out to be. Sure, NS taught me a lot of life and the world beyond nerdy JC existence, but through my leadership training at LDC, I've met so many new people, re-connected with an old friend (and crony), and been exposed to a whole new myriad of different attitudes and cultures that I never thought possible. For those who've been in constant contact with me, you'd know what I'm talking about. I miss Farand, and the 3 amigos hanging out, gorging on food. I know that I'll have to spend less time with Cyn, 'cos she really has her studies to think about. I'd really like to take LDC as my primary job, and throw myself into the work full-time, but there just isn't enough there for me to find security. NTU approaches ever so silently, and it's a constant test to myself to make the best of my time BEFORE NTU, rather than try to mess up my probably-already-packed schedule there. At least I'll be rooming with my best friend, if all goes according to plan! =)

Ah well. Despite the frightening changes the life brings, it's what makes it so beautiful as well. I love Cyn more than ever, for just being the most beautiful and sweet presence in my life, made even more precious by the fact that I see her less now. I really treasure my closest friends, the other 2 amigos, whom in my opinion can never be replaced, ever. I appreciate my TJ class guys so so much, for sharing and being more than just friends. And my VS brothers, the less reason we have to see each other, the more we do, just to laugh, and sing and play. Best of luck for this year, everyone!

"The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now, and we will never be here again."

- Achilles in Troy

That Was Fun!

Somehow, something about having an absolute feast with the best people, followed by "fun" at Geylang and East Coast Park, just seems to be an undeniably awesome affair altogether!

Every single time we go to Eminent Plaza, we spend a bomb, but we have the best food in the world, and with the best friends! A deep fried roll of luncheon meat, huge prawns and century egg; what could go wrong?! Steamed Baby Squid with Garlic, Pig Trotters Bee Hoon, The Best Carrot Cake in the World, a HUGE plate of Ngoh Hiang, Dim Sum, Beef Soup and Xiao Long Bao just seem to make the world a better place! And to top it all off, we now have 1 coffee auntie who hates Farand's guts! ( So what if someone orders a chinese tea and refills it 3 times for free?! He's entitled, ain't he? =D)

Going to geylang for "sight-seeing" and East Coast Park for "meta-acting" is awesome, given the right company! Of course, Singing at top volume with winded-down windows in the car is unbeatable too, no?

Love you guys! =D

P.S: I am now officially very, very anti-Dunman High Basketball, and it looks like it's gonna remain this way for a looong, loooong time..

It's only been a day, but I miss her so so much...

I wish so much I could see her now...

=(

Life is unfair.